I've Got The MoooOOOooooves Like Newton!

 I've been feeling a little bit like Bert Newton lately.  No, not a 70 year old, dodgy toupe wearing comedian with jokes that Bruce Forsyth would be embarrassed to tell.  No, I'm referring to Bert Newton the parent.  Bert must be waking up every day at the moment and dreading turning on the TV to see what escapades his son has been arrested for that day the same as I dread turning up to school to pick up Harry not knowing whether he has got through the day incident free.

Whilst Bert has an adult son and his incidents involve being arrested several times a day for being a bit loose with his fists, Harry is of course only just nine and no Police have been involved - yet!  He is merely dabbling with getting as many school detentions as is physically possible in the space of a few hours but nevertheless, Bert's son Matthew is clearly a very sick man whose illness affects his behaviour as Harry is a child with several conditions which affect his behaviour, for which they are punished and which as a parent renders you pretty useless. 

Whilst Harry's first diagnosis was for Asperger's, he also has co-morbid ADHD, as do many ASC children.  Sadly, many people believe ADHD to be a made up condition, an excuse for bad parenting, poor diet and a lack of discipline.  As with all of our children's disabilities, they are hidden.  Therefore, any empathy or attempt at understanding is limited and quite frankly the media don't help.  Well let me tell any sceptics, it is a very real and very debilitating disability.  Harry's attention span so far this year has totalled ten minutes.  All day.  

This latest foray in the world of school detentions has been a new one for him.  He has up until this year been the epitome of a child who holds it in all day and then lets it all out in the safety of his own home where Mum will still love him even when he's screaming that he hates her and wants a new Mum!  A child with ASC and/or ADHD going through a continual cycle of detentions then suspension is, however, not new.  Unfortunately, it appears to be the norm.  These children face every day with so many more opportunities to fail or perform unacceptably.  They receive countless detentions, are labelled the naughty kid and self-esteem plummets to the point where they give up.  I have read countless autobiographies and heard first hand accounts of children on this interminable path.  My most recent encounter was reading Kathy Lette's new novel The Boy Who Fell To Earth, which is a work of fiction based on Kathy's first hand experience of having a son on the Spectrum and who clearly went through years of school hell.  I honestly never thought I would be telling the same tale.

It would be fair to say it has been a very stressful time over the past few months but conscious of taking care of myself during this period I have looked after my diet and ensured my fruit intake has been maintained.  Lots of lovely grapes, which I have preferred in their squeezed and fermented state, but they have been grapes nonetheless.  And iron and carbohydrates for energy have been very generously provided in a lovely little slab of dark stuff.  But there is only so much healthy eating a girl can do, so it was time to tackle the ADHD monster head on and the sword of choice has been Ritalin - try not to shiver as you read that.  This tiny little pill has turned things around immediately for my child.  His teacher has proclaimed that someone has come along and pressed the re-set button on him and it's all systems go.

Parents really do have the nastiest battle on their hands when it comes to the 'to medicate or not, that is the question' debate.  I naturally did copious amounts of research.  I avoided all the scare-mongering websites that you find these days and stuck to science.  The medications provided for ADHD sufferers, and they do suffer, are not 'speed', some merely come from the same plant family.  Just as heroin is derived from codeine - think about that next time you pop a pain killer into your mouth!  They are not intended to be ingested the same way as Class A drugs and their effect is therefore not the same.  But regardless of any of these facts, my decision was this; which is crueler?  Sitting back and watching Harry continue on this downward spiral of detentions, whilst not learning a thing, to the point where he will give up and go on drugs of his own accord at 13 for something to do other than go to school.  Or, giving him a medication which can help him pay attention and learn whilst monitoring him constantly for side effects so that by the time he reaches his teenage years he wants to keep learning, he sees a point to school and perhaps doesn't by this point need any medical assistance.  It really was a no-brainer.

The upside of this latest episode is, along with getting him medical help, I called into question the discipline procedure at school which, I felt, should be as inclusive as the education policy.  I do not want another ten years of what I have gone through in just two months.  And quite frankly, our children deserve better and it's time for a change.  Thankfully, the Principal is on the same wavelength and changes are hopefully going to be introduced so that children who don't get social rules or who are impulsive, don't get detentions per se.  A recent article a friend was kind enough to make me aware of regarding school discipline procedures is attached for you to read yourself.  Makes fascinating reading and I hope the trend catches on, for all our children's sake.

Interestingly, my Dad found a few articles on the positive effects caffeine can have on children with ADHD, where the caffeine sends most of us a bit hyper and nuts, it has the reverse effects on them and mirrors the effect of medication.  So now I am no longer the Mum Harry no longer wants and am the coolest Mother ever because I let him drink Red Bull for breakfast!!  Mark Webber will be so proud...

http://acestoohigh.com/2012/04/23/lincoln-high-school-in-walla-walla-wa-tries-new-approach-to-school-discipline-expulsions-drop-85/