Autism Angel
Saturday, 2 May 2015
April 30th 2015 - The Story of the 3.5 Bears
Tomorrow we are going on a mini trip to the Outback so as the female of the house, I have spent my day packing for it and organising us. We have a scene in our house at the moment similar to something out of Goldilocks but with a twist. Daddy Bear will be going away with an itsy bitsy little suitcase. Baby Bears will be sharing a medium sized suitcase. And Mummy Bear has a enormously, huge sucker of a case all to herself! In anticipation of the horrified expression the husband will display when he comes home to see the 3 cases lined up ready to go in the car and the inevitable questions he will then fire at me. Yes I do need three changes of clothes a day. Yes I do need to take all those shoes. No you cannot put your wash-bag in my case because yours is full. No I cannot put the kids tennis rackets and swimmers in my bag. Yes we are only going for 5 days. :D Til tomorrow x
Wednesday, 29 April 2015
April 29th 2015 - #istandformercy
I went to bed last night feeling sick. I woke up feeling sick. No doubt for the rest of today I will continue to feel sick. I know I'm a sensitive soul but really I'm just human. My post today is not about ASD but about the reasons I write about autism awareness, acceptance and understanding. Because I want all children with ASD to live in a humane, kind and fair world. Sadly, the events in Bali overnight epitomise the inhumanity, unkindess and unfairness that exisits in our world. The barbaric method in which the Bali 9 duo were sent to their deaths (along with their fellow inmates) is considered cruel when we talk about death by firing squad in war torn Nazi Germany. How can it still have a place on this planet in 2015?
Now don't get me wrong, I have no time for drug smugglers, drug dealers or indeed drug users. These are crimes that deserve appropriate consequences. Killing two men who have spent the past 10 years considering their crimes and making amends is not an appropriate consequence. Indonesia did not end the lives of two evil drug smugglers. They killed two rehabilitated offenders. The whole ethos of a successful prison system is to rehabilitate those who can be and to keep locked up those who cannot. The Bali 9 duo do not appear to have been born evil. As young men, they did something they knew was a crime but they did it out of stupidity. They needed to learn their lesson and they did.
There once was man named Nelson Mandela who, during the 1960's could have been sent to his death for the bombing of government buildings, amongst other crimes. The South African government were perfectly within their legal system's right to have executed him. But they chose to prove a point and show they were not the evil ones. The South African government finally stopped seeing things so black and white (not intended as a pun) and saw the bigger picture. Imagine if the name Nelson Mandela was just a name in South African history as one of many black activists who was killed for his crimes?
I truly believe the Bali 9 duo could have done so much more to help other convicted drug smugglers see the error of their ways and be a positive role model for what these people could become if they wanted to. Will other potential young drug smugglers see what has happened and say 'oh cripes, better not do that then?' I don't think they will. I think without a positive role model who has been there, done that, who can tell them the realities, they will simply think, they got caught, they were unlucky, I won't be caught. Until they are...
In a week when thousands of people have died in Nepal, did Indonesia really need to add to the weekly world death toll? I understand the new Indonesian President was trying to make his position clear; he will not tolerate drugs in his country. Sadly, the Indonesian President has not seen the bigger picture. He just wanted to make his point. I believe you made a point Mr President. But I don't believe it was the point you were trying to make. #IStandForMercy
Now don't get me wrong, I have no time for drug smugglers, drug dealers or indeed drug users. These are crimes that deserve appropriate consequences. Killing two men who have spent the past 10 years considering their crimes and making amends is not an appropriate consequence. Indonesia did not end the lives of two evil drug smugglers. They killed two rehabilitated offenders. The whole ethos of a successful prison system is to rehabilitate those who can be and to keep locked up those who cannot. The Bali 9 duo do not appear to have been born evil. As young men, they did something they knew was a crime but they did it out of stupidity. They needed to learn their lesson and they did.
There once was man named Nelson Mandela who, during the 1960's could have been sent to his death for the bombing of government buildings, amongst other crimes. The South African government were perfectly within their legal system's right to have executed him. But they chose to prove a point and show they were not the evil ones. The South African government finally stopped seeing things so black and white (not intended as a pun) and saw the bigger picture. Imagine if the name Nelson Mandela was just a name in South African history as one of many black activists who was killed for his crimes?
I truly believe the Bali 9 duo could have done so much more to help other convicted drug smugglers see the error of their ways and be a positive role model for what these people could become if they wanted to. Will other potential young drug smugglers see what has happened and say 'oh cripes, better not do that then?' I don't think they will. I think without a positive role model who has been there, done that, who can tell them the realities, they will simply think, they got caught, they were unlucky, I won't be caught. Until they are...
In a week when thousands of people have died in Nepal, did Indonesia really need to add to the weekly world death toll? I understand the new Indonesian President was trying to make his position clear; he will not tolerate drugs in his country. Sadly, the Indonesian President has not seen the bigger picture. He just wanted to make his point. I believe you made a point Mr President. But I don't believe it was the point you were trying to make. #IStandForMercy
April 28th - UVO spotted in Australia!
Tonight we had an issue with a UVO - an unidentified vegetable object. It was spotted somewhere in the middle of the mince and tomato sauce aka spaghetti bolgonese. The object was white and shiny. Long Legs spotted it first. He looked at me, my eyes went wide as I saw what he saw. I gulped and panic started to rise. 'What's this?' he said. 'I don't know,' I replied rather feebly.
'Mummy, I'm going to eat it,' he said refusing to take his eyes off of me. 'I just can't remember what it's called.' Was he trying to dupe me? Was this simply a ruse to get me to confess to my wrong doing. I had to think quickly. I know, I'll tell him something vaguely close to the truth. Alright, I'll just lie. 'It's shallot?' I said with a rather too high voice. 'Oh yeah' he said. The fork entered the mouth and in it went. In it stayed.
I walked away nonchalantly trying not to draw any more attention to the situation. 'Phew' that was a close one Mr Onion. Tomorrow night, let's play it safe in case he starts to get suss. You'd best stay in the fridge tomorrow night with your other alien friends. Til tomorrow x
'Mummy, I'm going to eat it,' he said refusing to take his eyes off of me. 'I just can't remember what it's called.' Was he trying to dupe me? Was this simply a ruse to get me to confess to my wrong doing. I had to think quickly. I know, I'll tell him something vaguely close to the truth. Alright, I'll just lie. 'It's shallot?' I said with a rather too high voice. 'Oh yeah' he said. The fork entered the mouth and in it went. In it stayed.
I walked away nonchalantly trying not to draw any more attention to the situation. 'Phew' that was a close one Mr Onion. Tomorrow night, let's play it safe in case he starts to get suss. You'd best stay in the fridge tomorrow night with your other alien friends. Til tomorrow x
Tuesday, 28 April 2015
April 27th - You Talking To Me?
Today my boys have displayed the very common issue children with ASD have with attention. I may as well have been speaking to the neighbours in the street, I'm sure they heard me, unlike my children who were in worlds of their own. It's very easy for a child with ASD to be labelled ADHD and be popped onto to medication. For sure medication helps as it would for a true case of ADHD on occasion. However, just because there are attention issues does not necessarily mean your child is ADHD or warrant medication as the first course of action. Understanding the causes of the attention issues come from the ASD brain and the sensory system is the first port of call.
Executive functioning is the area of the brain which controls attention and it is a known area of weakness for children with ASD. The two attention characteristics which cause regular mayhem in this house are shifting attention and paying attention. Shifting attention is the ability to stop doing one thing and start another. The child's ability to shift attention is affected by whether he is focusing his attention so intensely on something he doesn't want to stop. Or what you are asking him to pay attention to is less interesting than what he is doing.
Children with ASD either get so engrossed in something that not even a bomb going off near them will distract them, think watching tv, playing the iPad, playing with their favourite toy. It's a very admirable trait to be able to focus so intensely on something that nothing else distracts you and can be an asset on occasion. As a mother who wants a child to get ready for school, asking a child with ASD to stop blowing up baddies and shift attention to putting on socks is a bit like asking Kim Kardashian to reveal her bum less often. It's not really much of an asset.
Their other frequent issue is of course not paying attention. If you are asking them to go tidy their room then chances are they will suddenly find that toy they never play with fascinating! Add in the genuine 'I've got something more interesting to do factor' i.e. the tv on and it's like playing tennis with a child's head back and forth trying to get them to focus on some part of your body so you can say whatever it is you need to. All they hear is blah blah blah oooh look sparkles! If I want any chance of order in this house in the morning (ha!) the tv is off even in my room. Suddenly my boys can find the stock exchange prices on the morning news riveting if it means ignoring me.
Focussing attention on one thing is also a potential health hazard. Prior to Long Legs' party, he kept sneaking into the kitchen to pinch the mini chicken pies I was cooking ready to box up and take to the kart track. Every time I turned around he was sneaking away with one in his hand, I am surprised there were any to take. Once we got to the kart track he didn't touch one! He was too busy doing other fun stuff like drive at over 60kms per hour. I literally had to stick a water bottle under his nose as drinking water to stay alive was clearly an annoyance. Things like eating and drinking really do go down the list of priorities in their heads until all of sudden they will realise they are gasping the minute you stop their 'fun' activity.
The other reason why they might not be able to pay attention is due to sensory issues. Either something is bugging them that is taking their attention away from you or they need to seek out something sensory to regulate their system. Long Legs is a serious sensory seeker and he is forever making us late for school because he seeks out sensory input at the start of the day (as soon as he's asked to do something boring like eat breakfast of course) and whilst doing so he goes into a trance like state. The Short One struggles with paying attention at school because he's very sensitive to things that annoy him. Add in the poor muscle tone he has and he fidgets from side to side because it hurts him to sit up straight for long periods. This year his class is trialling a new classroom set up which involves limited desks and lots of beanbags, sofas and rugs on floor. It seems the ideal set up for helping a child with sensory issues to be able to pay attention. Unfortunately, this does not help me at home in the mornings so if you hear a holler, you know it's me trying to get my boys' attention :D Til tomorrow x
Executive functioning is the area of the brain which controls attention and it is a known area of weakness for children with ASD. The two attention characteristics which cause regular mayhem in this house are shifting attention and paying attention. Shifting attention is the ability to stop doing one thing and start another. The child's ability to shift attention is affected by whether he is focusing his attention so intensely on something he doesn't want to stop. Or what you are asking him to pay attention to is less interesting than what he is doing.
Children with ASD either get so engrossed in something that not even a bomb going off near them will distract them, think watching tv, playing the iPad, playing with their favourite toy. It's a very admirable trait to be able to focus so intensely on something that nothing else distracts you and can be an asset on occasion. As a mother who wants a child to get ready for school, asking a child with ASD to stop blowing up baddies and shift attention to putting on socks is a bit like asking Kim Kardashian to reveal her bum less often. It's not really much of an asset.
Their other frequent issue is of course not paying attention. If you are asking them to go tidy their room then chances are they will suddenly find that toy they never play with fascinating! Add in the genuine 'I've got something more interesting to do factor' i.e. the tv on and it's like playing tennis with a child's head back and forth trying to get them to focus on some part of your body so you can say whatever it is you need to. All they hear is blah blah blah oooh look sparkles! If I want any chance of order in this house in the morning (ha!) the tv is off even in my room. Suddenly my boys can find the stock exchange prices on the morning news riveting if it means ignoring me.
Focussing attention on one thing is also a potential health hazard. Prior to Long Legs' party, he kept sneaking into the kitchen to pinch the mini chicken pies I was cooking ready to box up and take to the kart track. Every time I turned around he was sneaking away with one in his hand, I am surprised there were any to take. Once we got to the kart track he didn't touch one! He was too busy doing other fun stuff like drive at over 60kms per hour. I literally had to stick a water bottle under his nose as drinking water to stay alive was clearly an annoyance. Things like eating and drinking really do go down the list of priorities in their heads until all of sudden they will realise they are gasping the minute you stop their 'fun' activity.
The other reason why they might not be able to pay attention is due to sensory issues. Either something is bugging them that is taking their attention away from you or they need to seek out something sensory to regulate their system. Long Legs is a serious sensory seeker and he is forever making us late for school because he seeks out sensory input at the start of the day (as soon as he's asked to do something boring like eat breakfast of course) and whilst doing so he goes into a trance like state. The Short One struggles with paying attention at school because he's very sensitive to things that annoy him. Add in the poor muscle tone he has and he fidgets from side to side because it hurts him to sit up straight for long periods. This year his class is trialling a new classroom set up which involves limited desks and lots of beanbags, sofas and rugs on floor. It seems the ideal set up for helping a child with sensory issues to be able to pay attention. Unfortunately, this does not help me at home in the mornings so if you hear a holler, you know it's me trying to get my boys' attention :D Til tomorrow x
Monday, 27 April 2015
April 26th 2015 - The Morning After
Today was the 'day after the day before'. Exhaustion was King. Til tomorrow x
Sunday, 26 April 2015
April 25th 2015 - Party On Wayne!
Oh I do love a good birthday party! But it's fair to say Long Legs hasn't had many of these over the years, so today's birthday party was extra fun. You may have read a post I put on my FB page a few days ago about a mother who invited strangers to her daughter's birthday because nobody had rsvped and over 100 strangers turned up to celebrate with her. I totally understand why the mother did it as planning birthdays for Long Legs has never been just a simple who do you want to invite and what do you want to do?
Parties haven't been a big part of his childhood, either his own or as a guest at others. Once things started to go a little pear shaped socially for him, his birthdays had to be planned strategically. As any parent who has been in this situation knows, and I know there are a lot of us, watching everyone receive a Christmas card except your child or knowing the parties that are happening in their class but with no invites coming his way, makes you do things other parents don't even have to think about.
When he was 6, he had just started primary school and as one of the first birthdays for his class, I simply invited every single boy to his birthday. That way, with no way of knowing if he would make friends, I could at least ensure he was at least invited to their birthdays that year out of politeness. During his 6th birthday, all of the boys had fun playing the games in the swimming pool whilst he stayed in the corner of the pool splashing around on his own. My husband and I were bothered by this in one respect, but our son was having a party with a load of boys from his class. We hoped this gave him a fighting chance for the rest of the year.
I could honestly count on two hands maximum how many birthdays he has been invited to since we moved inter-state just before he turned 7. When he was 8, I decided to have a big party for him in the local park to try and assist in the friendship making process again. 3 children rsvped out of the many I had invited which made it less of a party and more of a play at the park with 3 friends. I was devastated and I haven't bothered trying to organise a party since.
He started high school this year and got off to a slightly rocky start with his attempts to make friends involving some interesting manoeuvres on his part. Thankfully, he settled down pretty quickly, but kids don't forget. Having not had a party since his 6th birthday, I decided this year was the year and I let him invite quite a few boys to go karting with him today. As anybody who has ever gone karting knows, it is not a cheap activity. On any other occasion I might have suggested he took a few good friends, especially given my husband was out of work for two months at the end of last year. An expensive party would in any other household be the thing to go by the wayside at such times. But when he looks back at photos of his birthdays, I want him to have memories of a party and not feel like he has missed out. And yes this was as much for me as it was for him. Most importantly, for socialisation reasons, I want the boys in his class to get to know the real him.
Today I watched him kart, go on amusement rides, play mini-golf and laugh with his group of friends and be totally involved with his own party. Obviously this is such a far cry from his 6th birthday. I also noticed he wasn't making any inappropriate social attempts to get anyone's attention, the boys were all running around having fun and let's just say watching them drive and hit a few tyres was making us parents cringe but laugh out loud. I now have the all important photos to record the day and he can go to school on Monday and share the memories of the day with his friends who he hopefully will continue to just be himself with and not feel he has to try so hard to fit in. I consider today's party to be very much part of the cost of raising a child with ASD. It wasn't just a party for a party's sake. Instead of spending a couple of hours in a psychologist's office talking about the theory of social skills, he spent several hours putting those skills into practice. I reckon the party cost about the same as 2 hours in his psych's office but don't know for sure. Once I am brave enough to look at the credit card statement, I'll add it to my yearly total. Til tomorrow x
Parties haven't been a big part of his childhood, either his own or as a guest at others. Once things started to go a little pear shaped socially for him, his birthdays had to be planned strategically. As any parent who has been in this situation knows, and I know there are a lot of us, watching everyone receive a Christmas card except your child or knowing the parties that are happening in their class but with no invites coming his way, makes you do things other parents don't even have to think about.
When he was 6, he had just started primary school and as one of the first birthdays for his class, I simply invited every single boy to his birthday. That way, with no way of knowing if he would make friends, I could at least ensure he was at least invited to their birthdays that year out of politeness. During his 6th birthday, all of the boys had fun playing the games in the swimming pool whilst he stayed in the corner of the pool splashing around on his own. My husband and I were bothered by this in one respect, but our son was having a party with a load of boys from his class. We hoped this gave him a fighting chance for the rest of the year.
I could honestly count on two hands maximum how many birthdays he has been invited to since we moved inter-state just before he turned 7. When he was 8, I decided to have a big party for him in the local park to try and assist in the friendship making process again. 3 children rsvped out of the many I had invited which made it less of a party and more of a play at the park with 3 friends. I was devastated and I haven't bothered trying to organise a party since.
He started high school this year and got off to a slightly rocky start with his attempts to make friends involving some interesting manoeuvres on his part. Thankfully, he settled down pretty quickly, but kids don't forget. Having not had a party since his 6th birthday, I decided this year was the year and I let him invite quite a few boys to go karting with him today. As anybody who has ever gone karting knows, it is not a cheap activity. On any other occasion I might have suggested he took a few good friends, especially given my husband was out of work for two months at the end of last year. An expensive party would in any other household be the thing to go by the wayside at such times. But when he looks back at photos of his birthdays, I want him to have memories of a party and not feel like he has missed out. And yes this was as much for me as it was for him. Most importantly, for socialisation reasons, I want the boys in his class to get to know the real him.
Today I watched him kart, go on amusement rides, play mini-golf and laugh with his group of friends and be totally involved with his own party. Obviously this is such a far cry from his 6th birthday. I also noticed he wasn't making any inappropriate social attempts to get anyone's attention, the boys were all running around having fun and let's just say watching them drive and hit a few tyres was making us parents cringe but laugh out loud. I now have the all important photos to record the day and he can go to school on Monday and share the memories of the day with his friends who he hopefully will continue to just be himself with and not feel he has to try so hard to fit in. I consider today's party to be very much part of the cost of raising a child with ASD. It wasn't just a party for a party's sake. Instead of spending a couple of hours in a psychologist's office talking about the theory of social skills, he spent several hours putting those skills into practice. I reckon the party cost about the same as 2 hours in his psych's office but don't know for sure. Once I am brave enough to look at the credit card statement, I'll add it to my yearly total. Til tomorrow x
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