Long Legs didn't look too flash this morning as he went to get out of the car for school. It's been his 'time of the month' for playing up at bed time so he's generally yawning his head off every morning. Wish I knew what caused it but anyway.
He was looking a bit peeky just as he was about to get out so I asked him if he was ok? He replied 'no it's my head'. So I said 'oh poor baby, what's the matter?' I don't feel right,' he said. 'How long have you felt like this?' I was genuinely feeling quite concerned. 'Since I was born Mums, not been right in the head since then.' And out he jumped laughing his head off. Bloody actors. Til tomorrow x
Autism Angel
Saturday, 30 May 2015
Friday, 29 May 2015
28th May - Thor Again!
Don't you just love those conversations that start off on one topic and somehow manage to end up back at the kids' interests?! Today we had a conversation that started off with a question about religion, I forget what now, so I started to explain the different religions and gods etc etc.
We ended up on the subject of Greek gods and soon I was being talked over and the boys talked amongst themselves about who Zeus was the God of (the Short One insisted he was the God in control of lightening and Long Legs said he was the God of the Underworld - I am still none the wiser.) Then somehow or other they ended up talking about Thor and back we were to the Avengers.
Question that was asked gone out of the window, mother talking to herself merrily whilst Iron Man and Thor stole my moment. Pffft. Anyhow good excuse to put on that photo of Thor again! Til tomorrow x
We ended up on the subject of Greek gods and soon I was being talked over and the boys talked amongst themselves about who Zeus was the God of (the Short One insisted he was the God in control of lightening and Long Legs said he was the God of the Underworld - I am still none the wiser.) Then somehow or other they ended up talking about Thor and back we were to the Avengers.
Question that was asked gone out of the window, mother talking to herself merrily whilst Iron Man and Thor stole my moment. Pffft. Anyhow good excuse to put on that photo of Thor again! Til tomorrow x
Wednesday, 27 May 2015
27th May - All Or Nothing
In the words of the late, great, Steve Marriott; 'It's all or nothing'. I am, of course, referring to the ASD brain. This is probably one of the most important blogs I will write this year so please, please read this, digest it and share with others.
Anyone who has even a vague interest in what autism spectrum disorder actually means will read a blog or two, maybe a book by a medical professional such as Tony Attwood or even just an article or two that appears in a newspaper or on social media on the subject. You may read a personal account or just live the experience. You will try to soak up information to understand ASD for either your own reasons or because you want to help another.
I have noticed, however, that there is one basic, fundamental fact that is not quite reaching us all. ASD is not selective, most of us know this, but there is still a belief that not everything a person with ASD does is always connected to their ASD. It is.
When we talk about ASD being subtle, we're not just talking about the characteristics which are frequently observed in children with ASD that we, as ASD caregivers, know about. Getting frustrated with the general public who don't, in the absence of a walking stick, bandage or wheelchair, 'see' the condition.
We are talking about the subtle brain behaviours which are at the root of every single behaviour in a child but which may not necessarily be in the ASD 'hall of fame'. You know the ones I'm talking about. But how many times have we heard someone say, 'oh well that she is clearly doing that on purpose!' or 'all kids do that, so he's just doing the same as other kids.' Which translates as, he/she should get the same consequence as any other neuro-typical child.
All behaviour, by a child with ASD, has a purpose. An essential ingredient of ASD is that there is communication impairment. So it stands to reason that they will use behaviour as a replacement for communicating. Babies can't talk, so what do they do? They cry, they wail, they absolutely holler. We appreciate they can't talk so use what they have at their disposal to communicate with us i.e. their lungs!
As a child gets older, just because they have vocabulary, especially if we already know they are ASD, does not necessarily mean they have adequate communication skills. Plus they can now walk, run, kick, hit etc. They have more than just their lungs to communicate. And being fed, changed, kept at the right temperature and entertained has expanded to a whole heap more of needs, demands and aggravations.
Does this behaviour have to be ignored or excused? No! But once you understand where the behaviour is coming from, what part of the ASD brain is causing it, you can set about forming strategies to help the child cope or find a new behaviour to replace the less desirable one. So how do we know where this behaviour is coming from?
If she doesn't mind, I'll use the description I used to explain this to my own younger sister, who is herself ASD and even she needed me to help her understand her own brain. Let's call my sister Plebhead because, quite frankly, she is my younger sister and that is what I am allowed to call her. My older sister and I call her much worse but those names are not repeatable on this blog!
My sister has a 5 year old daughter who is not yet diagnosed but is in desperate need of assessment and therapy. For the time being, she is having several behavioural issues which the family are struggling with. My niece is such a clear cut case of ASD, if I understood how the UK system worked I would be all over them like a rash because the length of time it is taking to get her help is ridiculous. Anyway, that's another blog topic.
I started off by telling my sister that my niece, we will have to presume at this stage, has an ASD brain. It comes as a whole package. There are no half shares of ASD, half neurotypical. So everything, and I mean everything, she does is as a result of her ASD brain working in it's own unique way. Yes, she may have some behaviours which to an untrained eye look neuro-typical, but their foundation is coming from somewhere else.
ASD children are not 'just naughty'. Sure, they may seem to be behaving naughty and it may be a regular behaviour that they turn on for the same reason every day so you may think it's just plain old naughtiness that needs a consequence. In reality, you need to become a detective and dig a bit deeper.
I told her that whenever a child with ASD does something, you have to think of the five essential ASD characteristics; communication, social-emotional, sensory, restricted thinking or repetitive behaviours and information processing which includes executive functioning and central coherence. And this is where you are going to have to read and learn and do your best Inspector Morse.
In my niece's case, she doesn't want to eat her dinner and point blank refuses to eat it, she will scream and carry on and say she wants something else. I worked out what was going on in with a few simple questions. What is she doing before you tell her it's tea time? She's playing. What happens when you tell her it's tea time? She throws a wobbler and says she wants something else. What do you do when she doesn't eat it? We make up a snack plate that she can have later. She eats perfectly at school and eats everything she's given. Untrained eye, she throws a hissy fit, doesn't get made to eat tea, gets it on her own terms, eats at school, so she's just being naughty, playing her Mum up, being indulged. Right? Wrong.
My niece clearly has executive functioning impairments, specifically shifting attention from playing to eating. So why does she eat at school? Children with ASD can struggle with shifting attention from something fun to something not fun. At home playing, offered tea - boring. At school doing work, offered food - food more interesting. Are they being spoiled? Absolutely not. This is one of many subtle ASD characteristics which is just the way their brain works.
Why does she eat what she's given at school and say she wants something else at home? A simple communication impairment, what she is actually saying is, I don't want to eat tea right now because I'm playing but if I say I don't want that, it's the same thing. Even if she isn't allowed to continue to play, these behaviours can then simply become a habit.
A basic ABA technique for working out behaviours is called the A-B-C technique; antecedent (what the child does before the behaviour), the behaviour itself and the consequence (what does the child get or what do you do as a result of that behaviour). Write it down and look at what either sets the child off to do that behaviour or look at the consequence, what 'reward' are they getting from the behaviour.
Long Legs used to, many years ago, shout out in class and was always sent out of class as a result. He kept doing it. The teacher got frustrated with him because his 'punishment' didn't work. Why did he keep doing it? Because a boy next to him drove him potty and he couldn't stand the noise (antecedent). He shouted and told the boy to 'shut up' (behaviour). So he got shouted at, whatever, he got sent to a nice quiet room all by himself to do his work (consequence/reward). This went on for an entire year. The following year I specifically requested Long Legs and this other boy were not put in the same class. The behaviour ceased.
I sincerely hope this makes sense and I welcome any questions/feedback.
Til tomorrow x
http://www.thesensoryspectrum.com/what-is-the-difference-between-speech-and-language/
Anyone who has even a vague interest in what autism spectrum disorder actually means will read a blog or two, maybe a book by a medical professional such as Tony Attwood or even just an article or two that appears in a newspaper or on social media on the subject. You may read a personal account or just live the experience. You will try to soak up information to understand ASD for either your own reasons or because you want to help another.
I have noticed, however, that there is one basic, fundamental fact that is not quite reaching us all. ASD is not selective, most of us know this, but there is still a belief that not everything a person with ASD does is always connected to their ASD. It is.
When we talk about ASD being subtle, we're not just talking about the characteristics which are frequently observed in children with ASD that we, as ASD caregivers, know about. Getting frustrated with the general public who don't, in the absence of a walking stick, bandage or wheelchair, 'see' the condition.
We are talking about the subtle brain behaviours which are at the root of every single behaviour in a child but which may not necessarily be in the ASD 'hall of fame'. You know the ones I'm talking about. But how many times have we heard someone say, 'oh well that she is clearly doing that on purpose!' or 'all kids do that, so he's just doing the same as other kids.' Which translates as, he/she should get the same consequence as any other neuro-typical child.
All behaviour, by a child with ASD, has a purpose. An essential ingredient of ASD is that there is communication impairment. So it stands to reason that they will use behaviour as a replacement for communicating. Babies can't talk, so what do they do? They cry, they wail, they absolutely holler. We appreciate they can't talk so use what they have at their disposal to communicate with us i.e. their lungs!
As a child gets older, just because they have vocabulary, especially if we already know they are ASD, does not necessarily mean they have adequate communication skills. Plus they can now walk, run, kick, hit etc. They have more than just their lungs to communicate. And being fed, changed, kept at the right temperature and entertained has expanded to a whole heap more of needs, demands and aggravations.
Does this behaviour have to be ignored or excused? No! But once you understand where the behaviour is coming from, what part of the ASD brain is causing it, you can set about forming strategies to help the child cope or find a new behaviour to replace the less desirable one. So how do we know where this behaviour is coming from?
If she doesn't mind, I'll use the description I used to explain this to my own younger sister, who is herself ASD and even she needed me to help her understand her own brain. Let's call my sister Plebhead because, quite frankly, she is my younger sister and that is what I am allowed to call her. My older sister and I call her much worse but those names are not repeatable on this blog!
My sister has a 5 year old daughter who is not yet diagnosed but is in desperate need of assessment and therapy. For the time being, she is having several behavioural issues which the family are struggling with. My niece is such a clear cut case of ASD, if I understood how the UK system worked I would be all over them like a rash because the length of time it is taking to get her help is ridiculous. Anyway, that's another blog topic.
I started off by telling my sister that my niece, we will have to presume at this stage, has an ASD brain. It comes as a whole package. There are no half shares of ASD, half neurotypical. So everything, and I mean everything, she does is as a result of her ASD brain working in it's own unique way. Yes, she may have some behaviours which to an untrained eye look neuro-typical, but their foundation is coming from somewhere else.
ASD children are not 'just naughty'. Sure, they may seem to be behaving naughty and it may be a regular behaviour that they turn on for the same reason every day so you may think it's just plain old naughtiness that needs a consequence. In reality, you need to become a detective and dig a bit deeper.
I told her that whenever a child with ASD does something, you have to think of the five essential ASD characteristics; communication, social-emotional, sensory, restricted thinking or repetitive behaviours and information processing which includes executive functioning and central coherence. And this is where you are going to have to read and learn and do your best Inspector Morse.
In my niece's case, she doesn't want to eat her dinner and point blank refuses to eat it, she will scream and carry on and say she wants something else. I worked out what was going on in with a few simple questions. What is she doing before you tell her it's tea time? She's playing. What happens when you tell her it's tea time? She throws a wobbler and says she wants something else. What do you do when she doesn't eat it? We make up a snack plate that she can have later. She eats perfectly at school and eats everything she's given. Untrained eye, she throws a hissy fit, doesn't get made to eat tea, gets it on her own terms, eats at school, so she's just being naughty, playing her Mum up, being indulged. Right? Wrong.
My niece clearly has executive functioning impairments, specifically shifting attention from playing to eating. So why does she eat at school? Children with ASD can struggle with shifting attention from something fun to something not fun. At home playing, offered tea - boring. At school doing work, offered food - food more interesting. Are they being spoiled? Absolutely not. This is one of many subtle ASD characteristics which is just the way their brain works.
Why does she eat what she's given at school and say she wants something else at home? A simple communication impairment, what she is actually saying is, I don't want to eat tea right now because I'm playing but if I say I don't want that, it's the same thing. Even if she isn't allowed to continue to play, these behaviours can then simply become a habit.
A basic ABA technique for working out behaviours is called the A-B-C technique; antecedent (what the child does before the behaviour), the behaviour itself and the consequence (what does the child get or what do you do as a result of that behaviour). Write it down and look at what either sets the child off to do that behaviour or look at the consequence, what 'reward' are they getting from the behaviour.
Long Legs used to, many years ago, shout out in class and was always sent out of class as a result. He kept doing it. The teacher got frustrated with him because his 'punishment' didn't work. Why did he keep doing it? Because a boy next to him drove him potty and he couldn't stand the noise (antecedent). He shouted and told the boy to 'shut up' (behaviour). So he got shouted at, whatever, he got sent to a nice quiet room all by himself to do his work (consequence/reward). This went on for an entire year. The following year I specifically requested Long Legs and this other boy were not put in the same class. The behaviour ceased.
I sincerely hope this makes sense and I welcome any questions/feedback.
Til tomorrow x
http://www.thesensoryspectrum.com/what-is-the-difference-between-speech-and-language/
Tuesday, 26 May 2015
26th May - RIP little packet of crisps...
I started my day by stomping on a packet of salt and vinegar crisps in temper. What was his crime? Well a packet of barbecue fell out so I picked him up and put him back. Then his mate, barbecue 2 fell out so I picked him up and put him back. Then little Miss Clever Clogs salt and vinegar thought 'this looks fun' and fell out too. So I stomped on her head. The End. Hope your day started better than mine :D Til tomorrow x
24th May - Oops!
We may be in trouble. We may have let our boys do something which they will, with the memories of elephants, never forget we let them do. Sunday dinner was served on the coffee table and we all sat and watched Long Leg's birthday DVD, Night At The Museum 3. It was a glorious afternoon and it was topped off with the Short One eating green beans and declaring them delicious...what the!??! One small step for mankind and all that. You fellow ASD Mum's know what I'm talking about! Til tomorrow x
23rd May - Darth Daddy
This weekend is the anniversary of the release of Star Wars. Our local theme park had their annual charity drive for Make A Wish with all the characters from Star Wars hanging around all weekend. They did a parade and there was a pretend Jedi fight and all other stuff that boys who like their toys understood. The Short One had O.T. first thing but we headed down for an afternoon's frivolity.
I went along for the ride and soon regretted it. I kept losing my three boys every five minutes because I'd turn around and they'd have disappeared to have another photo taken with someone or other in costume. Oh and there was a Lego exhibition to boot. We did have to laugh when Darth Vader held a little boy's hand for a photo and high fived another afterwards. We suspected he maybe wasn't the real deal...
Til tomorrow x
I went along for the ride and soon regretted it. I kept losing my three boys every five minutes because I'd turn around and they'd have disappeared to have another photo taken with someone or other in costume. Oh and there was a Lego exhibition to boot. We did have to laugh when Darth Vader held a little boy's hand for a photo and high fived another afterwards. We suspected he maybe wasn't the real deal...
Til tomorrow x
22nd May - Flying High
This afternoon I sat and waited. And waited. Eventually the Short One could stand it no more and went off in search of his brother at school pick up time. We have been playing a game of cat and mouse with pick up this week. Long Legs clearly likes to keep me on my toes by standing in a new place every day just to see if I can find him.
Twenty minutes after the bell had gone, he came running around the corner and I just presumed he had been found by his brother. Oh no! Long Legs called out to his brother from his classroom when he was seen wandering around. Long Legs was in the classroom talking to a Qantas Link pilot, the link bit is very important! They are learning about aerodynamics this term and the teacher's brother-in-law came in for the afternoon to talk to them and explain planey dynamic stuff including how to fly a Qantas Link plane.
But that wasn't enough for Long Legs. He had to stay back and talk to the pilot for 20 minutes with questions that appear to have been firing out quicker than the pilot could answer. He told me how he told the pilot that he drew planes all day at school and the pilot said he used to do the same thing too. Yay. He also loved F1 and has the same name as Daddy and he wants to be just like him when he grows up. I'm exhausted at this point of a few minutes conversation.
He said he told the pilot he really wanted to be one too and how did he become one and what did he have to do well at in school but oooooh nnnoooo he also wanted to be an F1 driver?!?! Genius teacher that he has solved the dilemma. Become an F1 driver, buy your own private jet and learn how to fly it to your races. Problem solved! Long Legs was buzzing, any buzzier and he could have flown himself without the aid of a plane. Til tomorrow x
Twenty minutes after the bell had gone, he came running around the corner and I just presumed he had been found by his brother. Oh no! Long Legs called out to his brother from his classroom when he was seen wandering around. Long Legs was in the classroom talking to a Qantas Link pilot, the link bit is very important! They are learning about aerodynamics this term and the teacher's brother-in-law came in for the afternoon to talk to them and explain planey dynamic stuff including how to fly a Qantas Link plane.
But that wasn't enough for Long Legs. He had to stay back and talk to the pilot for 20 minutes with questions that appear to have been firing out quicker than the pilot could answer. He told me how he told the pilot that he drew planes all day at school and the pilot said he used to do the same thing too. Yay. He also loved F1 and has the same name as Daddy and he wants to be just like him when he grows up. I'm exhausted at this point of a few minutes conversation.
He said he told the pilot he really wanted to be one too and how did he become one and what did he have to do well at in school but oooooh nnnoooo he also wanted to be an F1 driver?!?! Genius teacher that he has solved the dilemma. Become an F1 driver, buy your own private jet and learn how to fly it to your races. Problem solved! Long Legs was buzzing, any buzzier and he could have flown himself without the aid of a plane. Til tomorrow x
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